I Should've Known...

... I'd never be able to keep this blog a day nonsense up. Not that much happened yesterday anyway. I took back control of the weekly shop. Saving pennies and ensuring we weren't left scratching our heads wondering what the hell we were going to have to eat. The missus always seems to make a good job of having enough for two meals and then there's nowt for the rest of the week.

We took Olivia and her friends out yesterday afternoon to feed the ducks. On our way to Morpeth, it did indeed seem like nice weather for ducks. Luckily it held off and we remained perfectly dry for the duration. I made a rather tasty lamb hotpot for dinner and then before hitting the hay last night, I cobbled together a mean spicy tomato pasta sauce.

Today, for the first time in what seemed like an age, I cycled into work again and by the time I got there, I was well aware of the two or three week gap in my cycling schedule and suffered quite badly at the seemingly steepest hill in the area and I did it all with a gammy toe...

... yes, perhaps a blog a day is only ever gonna be a yawn fest eh?

For The Love of Waffle

Foolishly I agreed to work overtime today, 9am - 1pm. It had already been a long enough week without adding to it, but how else am I gonna bank roll the child's seemingly continuous attendance at Birthday parties?

Truth be told, it wasn't all bad. In fact it was better than going to work on a normal day. No stress related phone calls from unrelenting morons, no goon-like colleagues to put up with, double time and best of all; I got to tackle the work whilst listening to the radio.

Long ago, in the days B.C. (before child) I used to regularly enjoy listening to the radio on a Saturday morning whilst happily going about the household chores, unhindered by requests to do this or come and play with... such and such.

I tend to enjoy the banter of radio DJs that speak to me on my level and appeal to my sense of humour. Therefore Jonathan Ross has always been a staple feature of my radio diet. Today I took along my DAB radio to listen to Adam and Joe on 6 Music, having recently become addicted to various BBC podcasts. Everything was going swimmingly until Donna came down to join us from reception "What's this crap you're listening to?" she demanded to know (presumably not caring to know the answer) "Don't you listen to anything decent, like Galaxy?".

I chose not to rise to this and to save having to listen to either her complaining or dreadful dance/"R&B" tunes we compromised and selected a slightly less torturous commercial station to listen to. "I can't stand listening to all that waffling on" she said "I just want to listen to the tunes". "That's funny, 'cause I can't stand to listen to an endless stream of poxy adverts" I retorted petulantly.

I came to realise that by downloading the podcasts, I'm actively seeking out "the waffle" mind you; a bit of witty, senseless banter is always more likely to help me of to the land of nod than any old trancey dance shite.

I don't know, the youth of today...

An Interference?

Pfoooffff! That was a close one! 9.55pm and I almost forgot to adhere to my post a day, self imposed blogligation.

Well it's Friday (thank Crunchie, or just Cadbury's in general) and it has seemed like a long hard slog of a week. This is most probably down to the fact that I had two short weeks brought about by the advent of early Easter, followed by a week in which I only actually entered my work's office for one day before spending the remainder largely at a beer festival (I really must finish that blog).

Today, work provided another shining opportunity to subject myself to yet more toil and dejection in the pursuit of careerist advancement. This time, I shall be throwing my proverbial hat into the proverbial "Future Leaders Scheme" er... ring.

So it's back to the drawing board and filling out more forms for me then. This may interfere with web time and my regular posting, as it has done in the past, but I'm gonna try to keep this blog going. Indeed, the 200 word discipline may even come in handy as much of the form I have to complete requires 250 max words per example.

As it turns out I'm gonna need an extra fifty to finish this bad boy... Now where's my works spiel lexicon list gone?

Motivated, Tenacious, Strong personal commitment, Capacity to succeed, Strong leadership qualities... er, er... gi's a job! that kinda schlock.

Surely that should see me right? Right?

An Hairxperiment

Bless my greasy heed! Seven days in and still not the faintest drop of shampoo has touched my scalp. What’s that? “Scruff!” I hear you cry? Well that’s as well as may be and you’re entitled to your opinions, but I reserve the right to conduct hairxperiments under my own steam.

I’m sure you’ve heard that your hair can wash itself. I recently heard an enthusiastic strumpet ruminating on the merits of (self washing hair) on the radio. This plucked at my intrigue glands, being an armchair eco-warrior I figured I could enjoy saving the planet whilst simultaneously neglecting my follicles.

Last Thursday I purposely had my barnet sharpened. I figured that the shorter my hair, the less conspicuous my lank locks would appear. So far this has proved successful. Currently my hair looks like it has simply been adorned with hair slap. I suspect eventually, I may begin lying to people and stating that I’ve started using Brylcreem as a means to excuse the greasiness of my bonce.

I must now try to hold my resolve and not wash it for a further 35 days to see the results. Hopefully I will avoid attracting a small swarm of flies.

Scaling New Weights

Thrilling household news! We’ve only gone and purchased a new set of baarfroom scales ain’t we? Well, it’s thrilling to me at any rate… alright, maybe thrilling’s not the word… I’m buggered if I know what the word is. It’s probably more like two words… Mildly pleased. Yes, that’ll do, I’m mildly please to be the proud owner of a new set of bathroom scales.

We were forced into this latest acquisition as the old scale was a habitual liar. Of course this (quite literally) swung both ways, as it would on an almost daily basis, fluctuate its dial readings by up to half a stone either way. Obviously the weighty oscillations became too much for us to bear, exuberant jubilation one day, inconsolable desolation the next.

Whilst bought for better accuracy, the scales have also been purchased as a motivational tool to help the missus shed some of her heft. Having recently had problems with a slipped disc she was advised that losing some excess would prove to be great help, plus she has a 10km sponsored run to do sometime in June.

Whether they’ll make any real difference, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Aye, Google?

Despite its having been around for apparently three years or so, I’ve only just stumbled upon i-Google. Exactly how I’ve managed to miss this particular Internet innovation for so long is beyond me. I recall opening my gmail account simply to escape the daily spam deluge hitting my old e-mail account. This in turn led me to Blogger and eventually a whole plethora of other Google based paraphernalia.

When I think about Google’s global ubiquity and their apparent stranglehold on all things Internet, I feel I should do with a shudder, but I can’t seem to help myself, like a web browsing junkie looking for his next fix.

Still, I really must doff my cap in their general direction for i-Google. Over the past few year’s I appear to have hermetically sealed myself within the walls of social networking sites, rarely popping my head above the parapet to see what’s going on out there in the real world.

Now I’ve got a new, shiny, customisable homepage, chock full of technical trinkets and web-wise wonderments. Best of all is the ability to be updated with links to my most favourite external webshites and blogs.

Thanks Google for freeing me from the tyranny of networking socially!

Aches, Pains and Misery...

Well today, I feel like a total, physical wreck. This is due to a culmination of things. A spell of terrible sleeping, a bad back, and sore knee and to boot it all off, the weather is fucking terrible (This does nothing for my S.A.D.).

The sore back is undoubtedly related to my resurgence in all things Interwebberly. I haven’t sat at the PC for such prolonged periods of time in an absolute age. This, coupled to the fact that my PC set up is ergonomically shit doesn’t help much. The sooner I invest in a laptop the better.

As for the knee, I damaged it on Friday… prior to even leaving the house, never mind having a drink! I managed to bray it solidly on the frame of the bathroom door. Quite how I did this I am still yet to fathom. All I can recall is an immediate pang, a bright flash of light, some knee clasping and hopping and a torrent of profanity. I managed to make it to my bed and spent a good ten minutes curled in the foetal position whimpering.

At the very least I can always hope the weather will improve…