Catching Up With Myself

Well, not even a week in and already I've fallen by the wayside in relation to The Premise.

In my defence, this was potentially one of the worst weeks I could've decided to put this into effect. I've had an unprecedentedly busy week by my own usually meagre standards. A golden wedding anniversary party, two days at a training course, two separate attendances at a beer festival and an Elbow gig all within seven apparently very short days.

With this in mind, I have decided not to beat myself up about not posting something each day. Although I do wish blogger had the facility to pre-date your blogs. Effectively so I could cheat but also to allow me to keep a tight chronological order of things (I am an anal retentive, please forgive me). I figured a way I could get around this would be to post something, anything, just one word even each day, and then, if I've anything I really want to submit I can edit it later.

I also need to ensure I focus more on this blog, and less time spackering about on the surshal netwurking shites that drain the life force from me so repeatedly.

Carrying On Regardless

Well, last night, after having got home, I quickly uploaded and posted yesterday's effort typed at work and made a drop of the hat decision to go to the Beer Festival as a solo imbibementationalist. Despite my distinct lack of an accomplice in alcoholism I decided I was unable to break with tradition and so resolved to put in an appearance on festival opening night.

More to follow... the missus wants me to go and watch Dorchwood, whatever that is!

Right, where was I? Oh yes, the Beer Festival. This will take more than 200 words... ahem.

Arriving at Kings Walk I was surprised to actually have to stand in a queue for the first time I can recall on opening night. Sadly, the queue displayed a disappointing lack of cardigan bedecked, bearded, burly blokes. What's happening to the traditional Beer Festival attendees? Well, I suppose they're starting to become a bit more like me... average. Never mind, upon entering the University dungeon it was plain to see an increased 'tash count, so although it seems that facial topiary is on the wane, it is in certain circumstances merely being reduced.

This year was the first one to be held since the introduction of the nationwide indoor smoking ban. as a consequence of this, one of the first things to hit me (olfactorially speaking) was the unveiled and undeniable man muskiness, a pungent swell of men less well kept than your average modern-day metrosexual.

Aaaarrgghhh... yet more interruptions! I will get back to this soon.

Beer Today (?) Gone Tomorrow ?

Well, I have happened to stumble upon a flash drive and have decided that I will be able to put this to good use and avert a repeat of the problems that stopped my regular blogitudinalism last year. I can now cobble random strains of thought together at work on my lunch hour again, without the need to e-mail words back and forth. Huzzah!

As I type this, I am rather concerned. I am on the precipice of a personal tragedy of admittedly meagre proportions. Tonight, the opening night of the Newcastle Beer Festival may be the first time in five years that I do not attend.

It’s become somewhat of a tradition, certainly, my friend Neil and I have made every year without fail. Not so this year as he is unable to get the recovery time off from work tomorrow. I am in two minds as to whether to go or not.

It certainly won’t be much fun going on my own and if I don’t, I will be able to go for the whole afternoon tomorrow, arm myself with a newspaper and spend the day getting idly pished.

There’s always a silver lining eh?

Happy Fool's Day

Well, the training course finished at 11.30am. I managed to prolong my stay by ensuring that the already paid for sandwiches were treated as brunch and indulging in some post course waffle with the trainers and my team leader Gill. Thankfully, Gill offered me the opportunity to take the remainder of the day as flexi leave. I was quick to snap it up.

It must be difficult in these times of cynicism and apathy for media outlets to actually catch people out with "unusual news stories". However, this morning, before leaving the house I caught an article on BBC news, seemingly an advertisement for a new documentary.

Well done to them, because dressing it up with some plausible geography and "this recently discovered colony of penguins is unlike any other" had the missus hook, line and sinker. There was an "Aaaah" and a gasp of astonishment as they began to take off.

One quick look at my watch to confirm the date and a brief shaking of my head in her general direction was all it took to let her know she’d been April fooled.

I despair, I really do.

The Perils of Pedantry

I Attended a training course for work today. It wasn't too bad as far as courses go. It was in aid of the forthcoming introduction of a new data management system, so it involved a lot of practical work, i.e. spackering about with a mouse and clicking on drop down file options.

Not exactly rocket science, but nor was it a slumber inducing snore-fest, theory laden kind of day. As an added bonus, we were finished by 3pm and they're concerned we may be finished by lunchtime tomorrow. I’m concerned too, as this would then mean returning to “proper” work. Boo!

In other news. Arriving home early due to the aforementioned, I was greeted in my facebook mail account with the following:

Dont bother taking the pee out of the way I spell 'definately', people have enough in life to worry about than some random taking the piss. Hope ypu grow up soon!

I’ve much to say on this subject and may do so elsewhere. This was in response to a status update I had submitted "Definitely is spelled definitely, not definately, when will you people ever lurn?"

I’ll have to be careful with my flippancy in future I fancy.

The Aftermath

Urrrghhhh, today I am suffering with solid hangoverliness. Last night I attended my aunt and uncle's 50th Wedding anniversary. It's nice to be able to attend a family gathering for positive reason's, having spent a spell at a seemingly endless run of funerals.

I could of course make the obvious reference to prison sentences etc but that would be doing Douglas and Sheila a huge disservice. They are simply one of the loveliest couples I have ever had the good fortune to know, testament to this statement was the excellent turn out to their party, the continuously full dance floor and general all round merriment.

I spent the evening with a massive grin perma-plastered upon my dish due to the sheer joyousness of the occasion. The only downside being, that I drank more than my body is now apparently used to and spent a spell yodelling down the great white telephone. This was upsetting as I am unable to recall when last I vomited from overindulging on the old alkeehol.

Still, it does not detract from the enjoyment of last night's frivolities. Three cheers for Douglas and Sheila! Hip hip...

A Premise

A thought occurred to me this morning. I have been having problems posting stuff at "the other place" recently. I seem to have lost the confidence to regularly string my words together and put them up for public dissection as I used to do.

This in part is due to my inability to put together "showpiece material" but also out of the self conscious realisation that in reality people aren't really all that interested in the day to day stuff of an everyday idiot such as myself.

Recently it feels as though I've had more stuff published on Teletext's Planet Sound - The Void pages. The trick with submitting stuff to them is that it has to be of a musical bent and be between 80-100 words long. I have enjoyed the discipline of putting together my views on subjects, keeping them succinct whilst making them readable with my own personal slant on things.

My idea is simple. I intend to use this page as a daily diary, keeping to a 100-200 word requirement. Hopefully this will give me the discipline to sit down each day and summarise things, who knows? If I feel like it works, I may even notify people about it or indeed use it elsewhere.

I'm pretty sure no one ever looks at this page now so it will give me free reign to try this little experiment. How successful I will be, Lord only knows, this is already nearing 300 words and an average posting of mine is usually 1200 words, so to condense a week into approximately 1400 seems like quite a challenge.

If any of my regular readers happen to come across this, I hope you will enjoy what is posted, although it is likely to be tediously dull.

Luv'n'Cuddlz

The Blogtometrist xx